Super Mario Springer
by Gyrick
Summary: The fourth episode in the series. 2 of which are by Novalon. The name of this episode is called, "You Two Timing $%#!" What could it be about? Read it to find out. Rated PG-13 for language and odd conversations


You Two Timing $@%!

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Part 4 of the ongoing Jerry Springer Video Game Episodes

By Gyrick (In association with Novalon)

Starring

Jerry Springer

Mario

Princess Peach 

Princess Daisy

Luigi

Toad

Craig

Edward

Patty

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Audience: (religiously chanting) JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! (Jerry walks out from the backstage area and the audience goes crazy)

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Jerry: Thank you, thank you very much. Welcome to the Jerry Springer Show. Welcome to part 4 of our Video Game Saga. Today, we have two special guests. Please welcome Princess Peach from the Mushroom Kingdom! (The audience stands up and cheers. Princess peach walks out and gracefully waves at the audience. She takes a seat.)

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Peach: Okay Jerry, why am I here? (Jerry gets a confused look on his face)

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Jerry: Huh? What do you mean?

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Peach: Oh come on Jerry. I may be blonde but I'm not stupid. Something horrible is going to happen hear, isn't it?

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Jerry: (Sort of nervous) What do you mean?

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Peach: (Rolls her eyes) Oh give me a break Jerry. Nobody comes on here to meet someone they've lost in their past or to make up with loved ones. I know I shouldn't have come here. I'm no better than the trailer trash that watches this show.

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Edward: (From audience) WELL PUT YOUR HIGHNESS!

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Patty: (From audience) Ed, shut up. We're watching this show.

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Jerry: Well…………. ummmmmm….. Let's bring out our second guest. He is the Mushroom Kingdom's protector, Super Mario! (Audience roars out in applause. Mario bounds around the stage area and eventually bounds into the chair)

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Jerry: Welcome Mario, how are you?

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Mario: Okedoke!

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Jerry: Well Mario, do you know why you're here? (Mario turns his head sideways and has a confused look on his face)

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Peach: Well, I bet my castle that it's someone who will attempt to destroy our relationship forever. (Jerry gets a little more nervous)

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Edward: (From audience) How does she know all of this?

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Craig: (From audience) She must be a big fan of the show. How else would she know?

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Jerry: Well, our next guest is slightly from Mario's past. Do you know who I'm talking about?

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Mario: D'oh!

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Peach: Mario, who's he talking about? What a minute…… it better not be…….

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Jerry: Princess Daisy, would you please come out? (Peach stands up and Mario buries his head in his hands. Princess Daisy enters from the backstage area. The audience roars and claps. Daisy excitedly waves her hands and takes her seat.)

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Peach: Daisy? What on earth are you doing here?

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Mario: Mama mia…..

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Daisy: Oh Peach, I have to come clean. (Daisy looks at Mario) I'm sorry Mario, but I can't live a lie.

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Mario: Here we go……………

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Daisy: Peach…… Mario hasn't been exactly faithful to you…… You're not this only objective in life……

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Peach: (Starting to get cross) What do you mean?

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Daisy: Well…… you see…… this isn't easy for me to say…..

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Peach: (At the top of her lungs) Out with it! Tell me! Out with it!

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Daisy: Well…….. Mario….. has been………..s……..s….. (The audience all leans forward in their seats. They are all waiting for the dirty news that Daisy is trying to say)

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Patty: (From audience) Ooooooooooo…… I wonder what the skank did?

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Craig: (From audience) I don't know……. (Turns to Edward) Hey Ed, didn't we see her in _Donkey Kong_?

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Daisy: Mario's been……s………..s……….s………s

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Peach: OUT WITH IT!!

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Daisy: (Blurts out) SAVING ME! MARIO'S NOT ONLY BEEN SAVING YOU FROM BOWSER, HE'S SAVED ME FROM DONKEY KONG AND ALIENS! (The audience gasps. All of them are shocked and horrified)

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Peach: (Glares at Mario) So…………..is that how she got into _Mario Party 3_? (Mario looks away, ashamed. Daisy begins to cry)

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Jerry: Well, that's interesting. But we have more guests.

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Mario: (Looks at the ceiling) Ooof….

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Jerry: That's right. Could you please come out Mr. Luigi? Mr. Toad? (The audience roars and applauds. Luigi and Toad walk out and take their seats.)

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Peach: Luigi? Toad? What are you two doing here?

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Toad: Me? I'm really not here for any other reason than to be on TV. (Toad hops up and down excitedly) HI MOM! I'M ON TV!! LOOK AT ME!

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Luigi: Right……. Anyways, I actually am here for a reason.

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Peach: What?! What could possibly make this episode even worse than it actually is!?

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Luigi: Well, brother. There's something you should know……….. I've…..been……..

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Craig: (From audience. Rolling his eyes) Oh great. What did they do together? Play golf? This is so lame.

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Luigi: Mario, I've been playing tennis with Daisy……. (Audience gasps)

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Mario: (Mario gets beat red) WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA?! (Mario dives forward and tackles Luigi and proceeds to beat the living daylights out of him. The audience erupts with yelling and whooping and hollering. Mario pulls out a Fire Flower and begins to throw fire at Luigi. Luigi pulls out a Cape Feather and begins to deflect the shots)

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Daisy: Boys! Boys, stop this at once!

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Peach: (Pulls out a golf club) SHUT UP HUSSY! (Peach begins swinging the club at Daisy. Daisy pulls out her tennis racket and proceeds to fight Peach, sword fighting style. The audience roars with delight)

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Toad: Look at me! Look at… (One of Daisy missed swings hits Toad and launches him into the wall. He slides down and falls on the ground)

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Peach: All right bitch. Time to die! (Peach furiously rushes fourth swinging at Daisy.)

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Craig: (From audience) Hey, this isn't so lame after all.

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Edward: (From audience) Um, Mr. Springer? Don't you think you should stop them.

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Jerry: (Looks at Mario and Luigi's fire battle. Then he looks at Peach and Daisy's dueling match.) No, not really. This is kind of funny. (The fight ensues for several minutes, but it's clear that after a while, no victor will be announced, so Jerry sends in his security team and separates the fight. The audience claps fanatically about the fight.)

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Patty: (From audience) What _won't _this audience clap at?

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Jerry: Now, from that little outburst, I sense some tension between all of you.

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Mario: (panting) The horror………

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Peach: (Sobbing) Mario….how could you? How could you do this to me?

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Daisy: (Sobbing) I'm sorry that Mario did this to you Peach.

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Peach: Oh Daisy! I'm so sorry! You're a victim, too! (The two hug. The audience awwwws.)

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Jerry: Well, it seems you two have made peace with each other. Will you two make peace with the Mario brothers? (Daisy and Peach look at each other. They run over, grab Luigi and begin to walk of stage)

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Peach: Well, I'm positive that we found our man right here.

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Daisy: Yeah. Mario, you can find some other girl to save from harm. You Two Timing Shit! (The audience applauds, and Mario is left on stage alone.)

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Jerry: And now for my final thoughts. You should always be honest to those whom you save. If your saving someone else on the side, well, you'll just become nobody afterwards. Well, that's our show. Join us next week when an unlikely trio take on their company, on the next, _Jerry Springer Show_. (The credits role. And the audience begins to leave.)

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Patty: (While walking out with Edward and Craig) Well, that was really weird.

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Edward: Yeah. It kind of was. (They walk out of the studio, but Craig stops dead in his tracks).

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Craig: Wait a second! Didn't Luigi save Mario in _Luigi's Mansion_? (The other two stop, and look at each other).

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The End


End file.
